Day 58 - Beijing, China

Oyunbold picked us up, as promised, promptly at 7.15am in order to drive us to the train station to board our train for Beijing. The station was crowded and busy but Oyunbold waited to make sure that we got in the right carriage. We were running out of Mongolian Tögrögs by this point, so rather than tipping him, I palmed off a bottle of vodka that I'd been lugging around with me since Moscow. He seemed a little bemused but that's life. As we got on the train, it all seemed really nice; the train was almost brand new with lovely clean toilets, a shower, hot and cold water and TVs in the cabin! Our excitement was very shortlived though. I know those provodnitsas have a pretty fearsome reputation, but ours was a right spiteful hag. She's supposed to keep the toilets clean, the samovar hot and generally make everything go smoothly, but this one decided that the best way to keep the toilets clean was to keep them permanently locked! Effective I suppose. She also kept the shower room locked and it was only as we were drawing into Beijing that I realised why; she was using it as a storage facility for her own luggage. She didn't have a clue how to work the video system either so we were treated to over 24 hours of Predator, in French, with French subtitles. Useful.

Fortunately, we were only there one night but things were getting a big fraught when we reached the border between Mongolia and China as the evil provodnitsa had locked the toilet an hour beforehand (you can't use them at the station as they flush right onto the track) and we were stuck for over six hours without a loo to relieve ourselves. I'm amazed there wasn't a riot.

We reached Beijing at 14.30 the following day and it's a brilliant place. The hotel was just over the road from the train station so only a short walk but it was boiling hot and we were a bit sweaty by the time we reached it. We've walked so much during these past few days that we're both aching and a little bit sunburnt round the edges but in a relatively short space of time we've seen loads of the sights.

The Forbidden City is a massive place and it was funny to watch those that were obviously on organised tours being marched straight up the middle of the city, in effect missing lots of the more quiet and serene parts. It's interesting that before it was opened to the public, any unauthorised visitor would have been put to death instantly. The price for entry these days is a much smaller 60 Yuan.

Yesterday, we did an organised tour to MuTianYu which is one of the sites of The Great Wall of China. It was everything I thought it would be and luckily this site is one of the more quiet ones as it is further away from Beijing. We took the cable car up the moutain to the top, which was a good move as if we'd walked we would hardly have had any time up there to enjoy the views. Our guide, Joy, had obviously seen it all before because she just stood in the shade, looking as bored as a goldfish while we trudged to and fro trying to get that elusive, killer photograph. It was really hot up on the top of the mountain and not to miss an opportunity, there were people that had walked 3 Km from the nearest village to sell water and beer. I ignored them for the most part, thinking that I didn't want to part with more than 5 Yuan for a bottle of water, but when the heat got the better of me I asked how much a bottle was and the old man told me 10 Yuan! He could flipping well take that water back the whole 3 Kms at that price too!

We took the toboggan down the mountain which was hilarious and I managed to film the whole 4 minutes or so, much to the disdain of the security guards on the way down. What a hoot, I was grinning for an hour afterwards!

After the wall were were taken to a jade gallery, which was really just an excuse to take us to a factory and shop before we had lunch. This is quite common on all the tours in China, much to our annoyance but we didn't get suckered in and just patiently listened to the presenter on how jade is crafted and legged it thorugh the shop as quick as our legs would carry us. The afternoon took us to The Sacred Way which is the path that leads to The Ming Dynasty's tombs. It's basically just a long path that is lined with carved figures of animals and soldiers, but it's quite soothing to walk along. One of the most annoying things about walking through any of the parks in China though is the piped music! I've never come across this before, but Joy pointed out the speakers to us and they were diguised as little logs - very cunning. The trouble is the only music they seemed to play was their theme tune for the Olympics, which we're now both humming in our sleep, or a selection of Richard Clayderman classics. It's utter hell. Another annoying thing is the fact that China has gone electric-vehicle crazy. Everyone has them; either an electric bike, scooter or van. It's all very commendable for their green credentials, but the problem is you can't hear them coming up behind you so you're constantly under threat of getting squished!

Some of the translations that we've seen have been funny as many of them are either very direct or don't make any sense at all. In one toilet I saw some of those tissue paper seat covers that you put down on the seat before you use it, but the chinese had put an English label on them saying 'BUMF CUSHIONS'. We also heard of a story where a restaurant owner had used the Google transalation page to translate the name of his restaurant into English so that people coming for the Olympics would be more tempted to eat there. However, not understanding what it transalated for him, the English name above his door was proudly displayed as "Translator Server Error"!

We found a good restaurant for lunch today, and it was one that the locals use rather than many tourists. We massively over-ordered but managed to make a huge dent in the food. The menu was very interesting and included such delicacies as "Fried Silk Warm (sic) Larvae" and "Stir Fried Donkey with Cabbage". We passed on both of those and went for a nice bit of pork with some steamed dumplings. The waitress had an interesting way of opening the beer with a pair of chopsticks that I'd never seen before!